Our state is in the midst of a jobless recovery. Those who work are underpaid and those who apply are competing with 60 people will may also end up being slightly underpaid. So I was amazed when my roommate moved in, having been offered a position as a helper at a refinery plant. Helpers do general labor, much like those dozens of migrant workers you see crowding the parking lots at Home Depot every morning, to do basic labor and get minimum wage. And perhaps that works well if you live on basic necessities, but Jose is a father with several children, and he is a skilled craftsman. Deep down, he knows his worth.

So Jose set out to work because someone promised him a "per diem," probably not even knowing what the word meant (it translates to: they pay your rent for you.) Only half way up here, and not in writing, another different someone changed their minds. "We didn't say that. Who said that? Did we say that? We'll work on that then. We'll get back to you." Then, they realized Jose's a smart guy and he won't let it rest.  he can solder and pipe fit, and the guys at work had started him on doing that, only they didn't want to pay him for that. They were going to pay him helper's pay

I realized  while listening to Jose vent his frustration that if he doesn't keep his mouth shut he's going to talk himself out of a job. He had his foot in the door and he was trying to get jis leg in, but that's not what they hired him for. Sure enough, Jose continued to complain about all the work they are giving him that othes are getting paid more to do than what he's getting. (It did also occur to me at this point that I wondered if there was some sort of unspoken racial thing going on as well, since his family was Hispanic and he has an accent.) I tried to explain to Jose that that's not how our economy is going right now, and that he's lucky to have a job. In this economy, they pay less and there are lots of others willing to take his place, but Jose continued to notice that they were demanding yet more work and still giving him the same pay rate. Was it racism, exploitation, or ignorance? Or was Jose just being too demanding and about to get himself fired? Maybe all or neither. At any rate, it's just a general feeling of being used and nothing he could put his finger on. Jose was working hard and paying rent and not getting ahead enough to send money home. A month had past and no improvement was seen. How long does one wait for improvement before giving up?

 Jose is older and he's skilled, plus he's a parent, so the calls from home were helping him clear his head and stay in reality. He's doing the job of an unskilled younger person. He has to make a decision if the shoe fits or not. This is what they are willing to offer him, can he keep his mouth shut and just settle? Well, Jose couldn't. he had several restless nights and bad dreams. He feels guilty and sad. His children need him and that need is real.

Bad dreams are ususally the first indicators that your gutt is telling you something is dead wrong. His responsibilities are too heavy. He needs more money. He has a wife who needs to buy winter clothes for the children. He's got mouths to feed. Jose says he tried to tell this to the boss, who responded, "I know how you feel." Jose responded, "No, you don't know how I feel. You don't have children." He's making a major mistake here, airing his personal life needs at work. Nobody cares and nobosy is supposed to care, guys. Nobody cares when women have sick children or try to leave work and call in sick because little Johny has the flu, and no body cares now. Employers are there to make money, not care. We forget this sometimes.

So, in my last article I described how women sabbotage their careers by talking about children, leaving work early, or listing that the reasons they need to be hired; that they have children at home, bills to pay...and again I'm going to tell you- nobody cares. Harsh as it may sound, you do no good to list your personal problems to your employer. What we really have here is a trained person who took a job with skills much lower than what he was capable of, and that's a mistake we often make. We are wrongly thinking that perhaps we will move up the ladder if we can just get a foot in the door. Not only a foot in, but Jose had a size 10 foot trying to fit uinto a size 7 shoe. Who is to blame here? The show doesn't fit.

In a different economy it may have been true that he could have worked his way up, but it is also true that if he had no children, less need, or lower career expectations he may have stayed put happliy for a long time. In this economy we are searching harder for the bigger shoes and we need to make sure what we are being promised or offered will work for us.

It may well be true that Jose has talked himself out of a job, and they will get a younger person with no children who complains less. It may also be true that he finally realizes his true worth and it's a blessing is disguise to move on, and he needs to be looking for Foreman positions.

The lesson here for all of us is knowing when to turn down a job because you are more valubale than that. There is also another lesson here about promises that were not in writing, and who is accountable for saying one thing and doing another once he was already on the road to the job site. Employers may not have the authority to make promises, or they may allude to "maybe's" to fill hard-to-fill or boring positions and promise you the moon. Just like the position I just turned down for a secretarial position disguised as an administrator position, all shoes do not fit. Jose tried to squeeze his foot into a shoe that was too small, and in his dreams he was drawn to re-evaluate the situation. His employer was scamming him with false promises in order to get a skilled person to work for less pay. Not all employers are honest.

The problem with accepting a position too low is that you lock yourself into a history of lower pay and lower your over-all value. It's a concern we must consider as we evaluate the State of our State. State of mind, state of being, and our state of sanity also count. In the end, it's best to walk away with your own sanity and self esteem in tact. Jose says that when payday came around, the pay checks were nowhere to be found, so he's probably wise to walk away early. If they an employer even remember to pay their employees on time, then they don't have the conviction to keep truly professional people of higher integrity, and that's where you want to be. It's time to move on.